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Dawa Dem
remain me in next generation
Wrote on Apr 28, 2017
Is this really life or dream?...
11004001796 receptor the mother of four siblings, patriotic by heart and considers only in all because of the consequence of Zhabdrung Ngawang Namgay. She had hard-hitting sharp tongue which even her own mother likes to pretext but supports even the victim is her enemy, her priority.
i am her Daughter, who wants to carry only her advice and work harder to reach on top just to make her happy as i had tasted her under-went bitter part. Knows the hardship she encountered right from childhood age and even at her last breath. The unending theory of leading successful life, the unstopping dream of being wealth off, the undying hard work of being better old-age was only her wish that she can't stop though she was widow for second times.
It was rightly quoted by his holiness Jekhanpo on his preaching “one who is laughing will die laughing and one who is suffering will die suffering'. It can be exemplary that she was a very dedicated woman, be it in the field of Love, Family and work where 'commitment' is only her motto. That's made herself stayed dawn working for her family expecting the circumstance to improve.
Actually, framing her name at her locality is true since she like to shout if the situation is not favoring to everyone. As she always work with "what's not is always not good". Whereas, she can stop down her fire if someone work on the line of not being-human. Setting the deeds of PDP and getting happiness on her own was as if she had been staying in the castle built by her government.
all I had invested till now in my life of 23rd years being as her daughter was to make her happy, to make her cry at my result, to let her correct me at my real fight of life to make her rest on the liberation discerning that ‘ is only because of my daughter’. Wanted to make her think that i am best daughter, to send her peacefully saying you are great daughter. BuT nothing goes anything we expect. Perhaps is all happening other way round as i was occupied really hard just with that dream.
She left on 15th December 2016 at JDNRH, with that F* results STOCK. Just wearing that old kira which she was wearing even during chores at home even though she had bought many expensive kira folded in her locker eating by silverfish. Wearing that faded t-shirt that she can't throw even after wearing a year or more. Had nourished many cattles, people, and donated many things but didn't get a chance to have a sip of porridge at last moment. Had erected her own home with comfortable mattress but passed away on that pathetic bed mending many restrictions. What… what’s really wrong with the life???
I don’t know! What she had really done in last generation, actually she deserves to be getting better reward if god really sees the truth. I am not blaming god, but my unlucky Karma. That makes me not to believe in anything, no hopes, no dream. Just want to live like that but has to complete her work to give better education for my younger.
I do miss you every second, that I feel like scramming everywhere and call your name, feel like beating and breaking everything and search you, but what’s the use after doing all this as is on my sense that you stop your breath not even knowing how much I called your name, cried and shouted as if I am in cavé.
Now, I don’t love money, things, I just think of today and live as if you are watching and laughing in my own thought because nothing is PERMENANT. Nothing last forever, I am accepting that you left me. I love you mom. But I hate my Karma for giving this very limited time that I can’t even buy you piece of kira on mother’s day. That I regretted for not being able to take you in my dream-land on my first salary. That i can’t even prove how much am lucky to have you. I regretted for disobeying of not doing RCSC and came to sherubtse which the time permitted only to that edge. I hate myself Mother, But I love calling myself as daughter of NAMGAY BHUTRI today sincerly.♡♡♡•
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